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lyrics
The Salesman
Verse 1
Dear Mr. Holmes,
I'm writing to express some concern
our courier has informed us
That your last few shipments of lye
And chloroform have gone uncollected;
In the wind and rain on the dock of The Castle
If our current arrangement no longer suits you,
I beg you: please reply
So that we may make alternative arrangements
Chorus
We can't help who we are
Some are just set up wrong
And if your life is long
Enough to let them know
You'll end up dead or locked away alone
I've ever had just one friend
Standing there when I issued forth
The sponsor of my cursed course
He's forsaken me while I face the noose
It's a pointless excuse
Verse 2
I'd also like to offer to you
A variety of products you might find pleasing:
Benzene, butane, powdered lime
It is my heartfelt wish that our partnership continue
Please contact me at your earliest convenience
Chorus
We can't help who we are
Some are just set up wrong
And if your life is long
Enough to let them know
You'll end up dead or locked away alone
I've ever had just one friend
Standing there when I issued forth
The sponsor of my cursed course
He waits for me while I face the noose
It's a worthless excuse
Bridge
Signed: Mr Roland Ellsworth-Smith
Second City Bulk Chemical Supply
Chorus
I've ever had just one friend
Standing there when I issued forth
The sponsor of my cursed course
He cheers for me while I face the noose
It's a wonderful excuse
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